Mar 04, 2011
We are building up a fine list of White Girls
Apparently many places now have many
girls from Asia. We still have some but
Kings Court girls have to be able to speak
English as many customers like to spend
time in the spas and chat. In the main the
ones we have are quite chatty.
I received some good information on
one of the ladies this week and in a gentle
discussion with her about her behaviour she
abruptly decided to leave - thereby proving
what our customer had said was true.
He also went on to give testimonial about
Alicia - awesome conversation in the spa,
friendly, bubbly sensual and knows what
Alicia testimonial from last week:
I just wanted to say that I've had a lot
of massages from a lot of different
girls but Alicia is simply a cut above
anyone else. Her massage skills are
excellent, and the happy ending she
provides is without peer. To cap it off
she's a wonderful conversationalist
And really makes you feel special
with each visit. I've seen her
numerous times over the last few
years and always walk away feeling
on top of the world.
Ormie the Pig – very funny animation:
Bird on a Wire - funny animation:
This one actually has a moral to it:
I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend
and I had been dating for over a year, and so we
decided to get married. There was only one
little thing bothering me... It was her beautiful
My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore
very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less.
She would regularly bend down when she was near
me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to
be deliberate. Because she never did it when she
was near anyone else.
One day her 'little' sister called and asked me to
come over to check the wedding invitations. She
was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me
that she had feelings and desires for me that she
couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted me
just once before I got married and committed my life
to her sister. Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't
say a word. She said, 'I'm going upstairs to my
bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just
come up and get me.' I was stunned and frozen in
shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood
there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline
straight to the front door. I opened the door, and
headed straight towards my car.
Lord... and behold, my entire future family was
standing outside, all clapping! With tears in his eyes,
my father-in-law hugged me and said, 'We are very
happy that you have passed our little test.
We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter.
Welcome to the family.'
And the moral of this story is:
Always keep your condoms in your car.
Men sometimes remember anniversaries:
A woman awakes during the night to find that
her husband was not in their bed. She puts
on her dressing gown and goes downstairs
to look for him. She finds him sitting at the
kitchen table with a beer. He wipes a tear
from his eye and takes a sip.
'What's the matter, dear?' she whispers,
'Why are you down here at this time of night?'
The husband looks up from his coffee, 'I am
just remembering when we first met 20 years
ago and started dating. You were very young.
Do you remember back then?' he says
solemnly. The wife is touched to tears
thinking that her husband is so caring, so
sensitive. 'Yes, I do' she replies. The husband
pauses. The words were not coming easily...
"Do you remember when your father caught
us in the back seat of my car?'"
'Yes, I remember!' said the wife, lowering
herself into a chair beside him. The husband
continues. 'Do you remember when he shoved
the shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you
marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for
20 years?' 'I remember that too' she replies
softly. He wipes another tear from his cheek
and says. 'I would have been released today. '
One day, in line at the company
cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind
him, 'My elbow hurts like hell.
I guess I'd better see a doctor.'
'Listen, you don't have to spend
that kind of money,' Mike replies.
'There's a diagnostic computer
down at Bunnings. Just give it a
urine sample and the computer will
tell you what's wrong and what to
do about it. It takes ten seconds
and costs ten dollars... A lot
cheaper than a Doctor.'
So, Joe deposits a urine sample in
a small jar and takes it to Bunnings.
He deposits ten dollars, and the
computer lights up and asks for
the urine sample. He pours the
sample into the slot and waits
Ten seconds later, the computer
ejects a printout: 'You have tennis
elbow. Soak your arm in warm water
and avoid heavy activity. It will
improve in two weeks. Thank you
for shopping @ Bunnings.'
That evening, while thinking how
amazing this new technology was,
Joe began wondering if the
computer could be fooled.
He mixed some tap water, a stool
sample from his dog, urine samples
from his wife and daughter, and a
sperm sample for good measure.
He goes back to Bunnings, eager to
check the results. He deposits ten
dollars, pours in his concoction,
and awaits the results.
The computer prints:
1. Your tap water is too hard.
Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm.
Bathe him with anti-fungal
shampoo. (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine
habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins.
They aren't yours. Get a solicitor.
5. If you don't stop playing with
yourself, your elbow will never
get better! Thank you for
shopping @ Bunnings
The dentist pulls out a numbing
needle to give the man a shot.
"No way! No needles. I hate needles,"
the patient says. The dentist starts to
hook up the nitrous oxide and the
man objects. "I can't do the gas thing.
The thought of having the gas mask
on suffocates me!" The dentist then if
he has any objection to taking a pill.
"No objection," the patient says. "'I'm
fine with pills." The dentist then
returns and says, "Here's a Viagra."
The patient says, "Wow! I didn't know
Viagra worked as a pain killer!"
"It doesn't," said the dentist, "but it's
going to give you something to hold
on to when I pull your tooth.”
The winner of the double massage
last Wed was: BLACK E 53
Wednesday, 04.1.12 C-01 Blue
Wednesday, 11.1.12 F-97 Green
Wednesday, 18.1.12 A-85 Green
Wednesday, 25.1.12 A-46 Blue
Wednesday, 01.2.12 C-48 Orange
Wednesday, 08.2.12 D-12 Green
Wednesday, 15.2.12 A-37 Black
Wednesday, 22.2.12 D-58 Red
Wednesday, 29.2.12 E-53 Black
See all the winning results at:
See past emails at:
Kings Court: Busty List
These are genuine and real:
Busty and shapely:
Nichola, Amy, Alicia, Bonny,
Isabelle, Crystal, Jane (Japanese)
Extra Busty and Shapely:
Helena, Bianca (breastacular)
Busty and Cuddly:
Heidi (German) and Eve (Finlander)
Slim and Busty: Olivia, Ruby,
Rosita (Slim Black American African)
The Kings Court Massage
“Whole List” refreshed on
Alicia, mostly days, busty Aussie, likes to wear sexy themed outfits - Affectionate.!
Amy, Busty and Beautiful Korean, Very young.
April, slim blonde German – very shy NEW
Bianca Lovely girl – very pretty and busty and back now!
Bonny Young Aussie brunette – very pretty and busty NEW
Cara, Indonesian, slim shy pretty
Carly, Tall slim brunette Aussie NEW
Chloe, Shapely brunette Aussie NEW
Cleo, Thai, tall slim pretty
Crystal, Blonde Aussie Great T!ts Wow!
Elly, Thai, petitte pretty - sweet NEW
Eve, Cuddly very blonde Finlander – very shy NEW
Heidi, Cuddly blonde German – really sweet little girl NEW
Helena, busty DD European redhead
Isabelle, Busty DD personable brunette Aussie. Great fun in the spa !!!!
Jade, tall slim Aussie NEW
Jane, Busty Japanese NEW
Kathrine, Shapely Blonde Aussie restart – very popular
Lana, Young Korean, NEW
Lilly, Pretty slender American/Italian very sweet little thing.
Lucy, Tiny cute Korean, NEW
Megan, English, very popular. Away until end March.
Melanie, Pretty, bubbly, cheeky and really great t!ts. Not here at the moment.
Mya, Energetic and friendly and very attractive Asian
Nadia, Pretty Slovakian with good massage. Very popular!
Nichola, Busty Italian – always busy – Bellissimo !!! Very popular
Olivia, Curvy Indonesian NEW
Raquel, Very Slim Brunette Aussie NEW
Rosemarie, Slim Aussie blonde.
Ruby, Slim Brunette Aussie
Samantha, Blonde Aussie tall and shy
Sandy, Japanese sweet and petite, very nice girl
Stacey Tall Aussie slim and popular
Stephanie, Hong Kong Chinese – All the curves in the right places and a smile to melt your heart. NEW
Taylor, Shapely Blonde Aussie has returned from overseas trip – very popular !!
Valeska, “Snow White” She has very black hair and very white skin. A slim, sexy minx.
Yasmin German/Aussie brunette very pretty and very popular
Kings Court: The place where
first time customers come to
meet first time girls.
Remember: Everyone knows
someone who should know
about Kings Court.
Some girl who needs a harmless
job or some boy who needs to
start out on the right track.
SOME INTERESTING URLs:
Ursula Martinez. Lady magician strips down naked!
Invisable Drum Kit - Rowen Atkinson
Sophia Loren - Mambo Italiano:
Sophia Loren Dances Flamenco
Pane, amore e... (Sofia Loren & Vittorio De Sica) - 1955
Plastic Surgery Disaster (Jocelyn Wildenstein)
Engelbert Humperdink Concert at 75 years old:
Tightrope – slack rope
The Muppets - Devil Went Down to Jamaica
The Charley Daniels Band - The Devil Went Down to Georgia (live)
Tenacious D - Tribute:
The Making of Tenacious D:
Tenacious D - Beelzeboss (The Final Showdown)
Mostly Americans - I am sure we could find some
Aussie ones of equal dumbness:
Question: “If you could live forever, would you and why?”
Answer: “I would not live forever, because we should not
live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever,
then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever,
which is why I would not live forever.”
Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest .
“Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all
over the world, I can't help but cry I mean I'd love to be skinny
like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.”
“Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very
important part of your life.”
Brooke Shields, during an interview to become
spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.
“I've never had major knee surgery on
any other part of my body.”
Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
“Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest
crime rates in the country.”
Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC
“That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death
by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it.”
A congressional candidate in Texas
“Half this game is ninety percent mental.”
Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
“It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the
impurities in our air and water that are doing it.”
Al Gore, Vice President
“I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix” (Arizona)
Dan Quayle while campaigning
“We've got to pause and ask ourselves:
How much clean air do we need?”
Lee Iacocca Executive at Ford and later at Chrysler
“The word 'genius' isn't applicable in football. A genius is a
guy like Norman Einstein.” (Albert Einstein)
Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst
“We don't necessarily discriminate.
We simply exclude certain types of people.”
Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor .
'Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992
because we received notice that you passed away.
May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change
in your circumstances.'
Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina
“Traditionally, most of Australia 's imports come from overseas.”
Keppel Enderbery, former Australian Cabinet Minister
“If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack
in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart
throughout the night. And the next morning, when they
wake up dead, there'll be a record.'
Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
How was I born:
A little boy goes to his father and asks “Daddy, how was I born?”
The father answers, “Well, son, I guess one day you will need to
find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room
on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we
met at a cyber-cafe… We sneaked into a secluded room, and
googled each other. There your mother agreed to a download
from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we
discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since
it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little
Pop-Up appeared that said… (wait for it) You got male!
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