Dec 01, 2011
The last items below are very naughty soft core URLs.
You do not have to look at them.
Now this is really nice – online jig saw puzzles:
It is almost time for Christmas:
Dear Santa, Please send me a baby brother.
Santa wrote back: "Send me your mother..."
received this in an email:
Robbie Knievel (son of Evil Knievel) who will be flying into Australia
to stage an Event at the Sydney Cricket Ground next weekend.
Robbie is going to try to jump over *Julia Gillard & 100 of her colleagues
with a Caterpillar D-9 bulldozer.
The email had a picture of a very heavy looking yellow bulldozer. Mmm..
For the other side please insert *Tony Abbot & 100 of his colleagues
A blonde and a brunette were watching the 10 o'clock news together. The
current news was about a man up on a ledge and threatening to jump. The
situation cut to a commercial. Brunette: "I'll bet you $20 he's going to jump."
Blonde: "Okay." (then back to the newscast.) He jumps. Blonde: "Okay,
here's my $20. "Brunette: "No, that was too easy, I can't take your money."
Blonde: "I insist. I lost!" Brunette: "I have a confession to make. I saw the
same thing on the 6 o'clock news and knew he jumped. So it wasn't really
a fair bet." Blonde: "I saw the exact same newscast, but I didn't think he
would be stupid enough to jump twice!"
I seem to have had a run of old people jokes:
A guy is 75 years old & loves to fish. He was sitting in his boat the
other day when he heard a voice say, "Pick me up." He looked around &
couldn't see anyone. He thought he was dreaming when he heard the
voice say again, "Pick me up." He looked in the water & there,
floating on the top, was a frog.
The man said, "Are you talking to me?"
The frog said, "Yes, I'm talking to you. Pick me up then, kiss me and I'll turn
into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. I'll make sure that all
your friends are envious & jealous because I will be your bride!"
The man looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it
up carefully & placed it in his front pocket. The frog said, "What, are you nuts?
Didn't you hear what I said? I said kiss me and I will be your beautiful bride."
He opened his pocket, looked at the frog & said, "Nah, at my age I'd
rather have a talking frog."
Now, I seem to remember a West Australian version of that one:
A guy finds a frog and the frog says, “Kiss me and I will turn into a Perth Millionaire.”
The Guy says, "Nah, I'd rather have a talking frog, than a lying bastard any day."
The winner of the double massage this week is: BLUE B 10
Wednesday, 26th October 2011 B-39 Black
Wednesday, 2nd November 2011 E-38 Purple
Wednesday, 9nd November 2011 A-24 Orange
Wednesday, 16th November 2011 A-31 Orange
Wednesday, 23rd November 2011 B-41 Purple
Wednesday, 30th November 2011 B-10 Blue
See all the winning results at: http://kingscourt.com.au/win.php
See past emails at: http://kingscourt.com.au/happy-ending-news
Look out for New girl Megan not on the list yet – very pretty English.
Kings Court – Busty List - These are genuine and real:
Busty and shapely: Amy, Crystal, Lisa, Alicia, Isabelle, Yuki – Japanese, Stephanie
Extra Busty and Shapely: Helena, Bianca (breastacular) Alana, Eve
Tiny Girls Extreme Busty: Josie, Melanie
The Kings Court Massage “Whole List” refreshed on Thursday 1.12.11
Asian ladies are presented in green !!!!
Alana, Attractive, Fun and English Very Very Busty and Friendly Last shift is the 23rd Dec !!
Alicia, mostly days, busty Aussie, likes to wear sexy themed outfits - Affectionate.!
Amber, blonde slim becoming less shy university student in her mid twenties
Amy, Busty and Beautiful Korean, Very young.
Arn, Japanese slightly older and very attentive.
Bianca Lovely girl – very pretty and busty BREASTACULAR!!, exotic looks
Cara, Indonesian, slim shy pretty
Charlotte, Blonde Aussie NEW
Cleo, Thai, tall slim pretty
Crystal, Blonde Aussie few shifts only
Ellen, another sweet Japanese is back
Eve, Very Busty Brunette, bubbly NEW
Faith, Tall BLACK Marutian
Gina, young blonde German, bubbly personality
Helena, busty DD European redhead
Holly pretty young blonde Aussie Holidays till Dec
Isabelle, Busty DD personable brunette Aussie. Great fun in the spa !!!!
Jessica, Petite brunette Aussie NEW
Josie Busty pretty Asian. Petite yet busty. Very good masseuse
Kathryn, Pretty Blonde Aussie popular
Kelly, Slim dark Indonesian.
Kim, Slim attractive Asian. Quite Beautiful
Kylie, Pretty German incredibly beautiful eyes Only 9am to 12 noon Wed, Fri and Sat
Lee, Slim beautiful Korean who loves it here. NEW and full of life!!
Lilly, Pretty slender American/Italian very sweet little thing. Holidays till 9th Dec
Lisa, Very busty Indian. This girl has a very nice personality and already very popular.
Melanie, Pretty, bubbly, cheeky and really great tits. Very popular! Restart on Friday!!!
Mya, Energetic and friendly and very attractive Asian Only Mondays now.
Nadia, Pretty Slovakian with good massage. Very popular!
Nina, Very white Indonesian busty smiling and happy Sat and Sun days NEW
Olivia, Slim English blonde.
Rosemarie, Slim Aussie blonde.
Roxy, Slim brunette American.
Sabrina Busty South American NEW
Sandy, Japanese sweet and petite, very nice girl
Samantha, Blonde Aussie tall and shy
Sasha Medium Aussie beautiful brown eyes
Stacey Tall Aussie slim and popular
Valeska, “Snow White” She has very black hair and very white skin. A slim, sexy minx.
Victoria, Tall blonde slim Aussie NEW
Vivian, Japanese very pretty and shapely
Yasmin German/Aussie brunette very pretty and very popular
Yuki, Busty and beautiful Japanese fairly good English ON HOLIDAY
Kings Court: The place where first time customers come to meet first time girls.
Not on Fridays:
Eileen and her husband Bob went for counselling after
just 15 years of marriage. When asked what the problem
was, Eileen went into a passionate, painful tirade listing
every problem they had ever had in the 15 years they had
been married. She went on and on and on: neglect, lack
of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and
unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had
endured over the course of their marriage. Finally, after
allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the
therapist got up, walked around the desk and after asking
Eileen to stand, embraced her, unbuttoned her blouse and
bra, put his hands on her breasts and massaged them
thoroughly, while kissing her passionately as her husband
Bob watched with a raised eyebrow! Eileen shut up,
buttoned up her blouse, and quietly sat down while
basking in the glow of being highly aroused.
The therapist turned to Bob and said, “This is what your
wife needs at least three times a week…” Bob thought
for a moment and replied,
“Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and
Wednesdays, but not on Fridays, as I play golf.”
A Farmer Joke:
A farmer stopped by the local mechanic shop to have his truck fixed. They
couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just
On the way he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and a
gallon of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple of
chickens and a goose. However, struggling outside the store he now had a
problem - how to carry his entire purchases home.
While he was scratching his head he was approached by a little old lady who
told him she was lost. She asked, "Can you tell me how to get to 1603
Mockingbird Lane ?"
The farmer said, "Well, as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to that
house. I would walk you there, but I can't carry this lot." The old lady
suggested, "Why don't you put the can of paint in the bucket. Carry the
bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your
other hand?" "Why, thank you very much, he said, and proceeded to walk the
old girl home.
On the way he says, "Let's take a short cut and go down this alley. We'll be
there in no time." The little old lady looked him over cautiously, then
said, "I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know
that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up
my skirt, and have your way with me?"
The farmer said, "Holy smokes lady! I'm carrying a bucket, a gallon of
paint, two chickens and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold
You up against the wall and do that?"
The old lady replied, "Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put
the paint on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens...."
Bits and Pieces:
George Schwartz, owner of a factory in Providence, R.I., narrowly escaped death
when a 1983 blast flattened his factory except for one wall. After treatment for
minor injuries, he returned to the scene to search for files.
The remaining wall then collapsed on him, killing him.
Depressed since he could not find a job, 42-year-old Romolo Ribolla, in 1981, sat in
his kitchen near Pisa, Italy, with a gun in his hand threatening to kill himself. His wife
pleaded for him not to do it, and after about an hour he burst into tears and threw the
gun to the floor. It went off and killed his wife.
In 1983, a Mrs. Carson of Lake Kushaqua, N.Y., was laid out in her coffin, presumed
dead of heart disease. As mourners watched, she suddenly sat up.
Her daughter dropped dead of fright.
A man hit by a car in New York in 1977 got up uninjured, but laid back down in front
of the car when a bystander told him to pretend he was hurt so he could collect
insurance money. The car rolled forward and crushed him to death.
Surprised while burgling a house in Antwerp, Belgium, a thief fled out the back door,
clambered over a nine-foot wall, dropped down and found himself in the city prison.
URLs of some very naughty stuff:
I shoot myself:
The most perfect breasts:
© 2011 Kings Court, All Rights Reserved.