Oct 16, 2011
Hi everyone, as some of you may know, Big John is a well
travelled man of the world. I have just completed a week of
feasting at a 2,000 people wedding held in two cities in India.
I have managed to survive with a small case of Bali Belly.
When I told my lady doctor (of course Big John would have a
lady doctor) that I was going to India she looked at me funny
and started to list many kinds of drugs and injections that I
would need. I looked her in the eye and said, “Now get this,
I am not going to India to get cheap sex!” She was relieved
and said, “Well you won’t need any of this stuff at all.”
So anyway, I will be back soon. I have not picked up any good
Indian jokes but I have enjoyed the hospitality immensely.
Here is an Indian joke: Santa Singh - Banta Singh
Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge.
The judge: What'll you take 30 days or Rs 3000.
Santa: I think I'll take the money.
Pappu, while filling up a form: Dad, what should I write against
Santa: Very long!
Santa: I kiss my wife everyday before leaving for office, what about you?
Banta: Me too, after you leave.
Santa: My dad was an extremely brave man. He once entered a lion's cage.
Banta: He probably got a lot of applause when he got out.
Santa: I didn't say he got out.
And now a little bit of Irish:
A man is lost in a hot air balloon over Ireland.
He looks down and sees a farmer and shouts
to him, "Where am I?" The Irish farmer looks
up and shouts back "You can't kid me ya
b'stard, you're in that fucking basket!"
Paddy is cleaning his rifle and accidentally shoots
his wife. He dials 999 and says "It's my wife, I've
accidentally shot her. I've killed her."
Operator "Please calm down sir. Can you first make
sure she really is dead?" The Operator hears a gun
going off. Paddy, "OK, done that, what next?
Mick and Paddy are reading head stones at a cemetery.
Mick says "Crikey! There's a bloke here who was 152!"
Paddy says "What's his name?"
Mick replies "Miles, from London!"
Visiting an Art Gallery a husband and wife are completely
confused by a painting of three totally naked black men.
Two of the figures have black penises, but one is
depicted with a pink penis. The curator of the gallery
realizing that they are having trouble interpreting the
painting approaches and explains how it depicts the
sexual emasculation of black men in a predominately
white, patriarchal society. After the curator left, an older
man said, “I painted that and I can tell you what the
painting is really about? There are no black men
depicted at all. They're three Welch coal miners
and the one in the middle went home for lunch...”
A Brit arrives at Aussie Customs:
"Do you have a criminal record?" the official asks.
"I didn't know you still needed one," replies the Brit.
Trouble and Strife joke:
I'm not normally suspicious but the wife told
me yesterday that Gavin from O’Briens came
round and injected some special resin into her
crack… she hasn't even got a car!!
With this one you have to think for a moment:
Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven.
When they arrive, St. Peter says, “We a strict rule here in heaven:
don't step on the ducks!” So they enter heaven, and sure enough,
there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to
step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them,
the first woman accidentally steps on one. Along comes St. Peter
with the ugliest man she ever saw… St. Peter chains them
together and says, “Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to
spend eternity chained to this man!” The next day, the second
woman accidentally steps on a duck and along comes St. Peter,
who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man.
He chains them together same as for the first woman. The third
woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for
all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps.
She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but
one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man
she has ever laid eyes on... very tall, long eyelashes, muscular,
and thin. St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.
The happy woman says, “I wonder what I did to deserve being
chained to you for all of eternity?” The guy says, “I don't know
about you, but I stepped on a duck!”
The winner of the double massage this week is: BLACK C 68
Wednesday, 10th August 2011 E-24 Orange
Wednesday, 17th August 2011 E-40 Purple
Wednesday, 24th August 2011 D-51 Red
Wednesday, 31st August 2011 B-62 Red
Wednesday, 7th September 2011 C-63 Black
Wednesday, 14th September 2011 F-62 Purple
Wednesday, 21th September 2011 D-18 Blue
Wednesday, 28th September 2011 C-10 Green
Wednesday, 5th October 2011 B-51 Orange
Wednesday, 12th October 2011 C-68 Black
See all the winning results at: http://www.kingscourt.com.au/happy-ending-news
“Happy Ending News” is now up to date!
Kings Court – Busty List - These are genuine and real:
Busty and shapely: Crystal, Madeline, Alicia, Isabelle, Yuki and Erica - Japanese
Extra Busty and Shapely: Helena, Bianca (breastacular) Alana
Tiny Girls Extreme Busty: Josie
The Kings Court Massage “Whole List” refreshed on Suday 16.10.11
Asian ladies are presented in green !!!!
Alana, Attractive, Fun and English Very Very Busty and Friendly
Alicia, mostly days, busty Aussie, likes to wear sexy themed outfits - Affectionate.!
Amber, blonde slim becoming less shy university student in her mid twenties – away
Arn, Japanese slightly older and very attentive.
Ashley, qualified masseuse very friendly - away
Bianca Lovely girl – very pretty and busty BREASTACULAR!!, exotic looks
Cara, Indonesian, slim shy pretty
Crystal, Blonde Aussie few shifts only
Claudia Spanish beauty, evenings 3 shifts a week
Cleo, Thai, tall slim pretty
Erica, Japanese very pretty and young. Busty and Popular - Holidays to 15th October
Faith, Tall BLACK Marutian
Gina, young blonde German, bubbly personality Popular
Helena, busty DD European redhead
Holly pretty young blonde Aussie
Isabelle, Busty DD personable brunette Aussie. Great fun in the spa !!!!
Josie Busty pretty Asian. Petite yet busty. Very good masseuse
Julie, Japanese shy and slim NEW
Kathryn, Pretty Blonde Aussie Very, very popular! Restart
Kelly, Slim dark Indonesian.
Kim, Slim attractive Asian. Quite Beautiful
Kylie, Pretty German incredibly beautiful eyes Only 9am to 12 noon Wed, Fri and Sat
Lara, Slim Surfie Aussie with perky bust.
Lauren, very very tall, busty, blonde German
Lee, Slim beautiful Korean who loves it here. NEW and full of life!!
Lilly, Pretty slender American/Italian very sweet little thing. Already very popular.
Crystal, Beautiful busty Indian. Restart
Mya, Energetic and friendly and very attractive Asian Only Mondays now.
Natasha, Another Spanish looking beauty - busty
Nadia, Pretty Slovakian with good massage. Very popular!
Natalie, Pretty Aussie/European brunette
Olivia, Slim English blonde. Back again!
Rosemaree, Slim Aussie blonde. Two weeks away
Sasha Medium Aussie beautiful brown eyes
Sandy, Japanese sweet and petite, very nice girl
Suzy, Japanese very very pretty and has a great personality NEW
Tina, Chinese tall and a bit busty NEW
Samantha, Blonde Aussie tall and shy
Skye, Brunette Aussie very bubbly
Stacey Tall Aussie slim and popular – on holidays to the 6th October
Valeska, “Snow White” She has very black hair and very white skin. A slim, sexy minx.
Vivian, Japanese very pretty and shapely
Yasmin German/Aussie brunette very pretty and very popular
Yuki, Busty and beautiful Japanese fairly good English
Kings Court: The place where first time customers get to meet first time girls.
A BOY ASKS HIS GRANNY, “HAVE YOU SEEN MY PILLS,
THEY WERE LABELLED LSD?”
GRANNY REPLIES, “F*ck THE PILLS, HAVE YOU SEEN THE
DRAGONS IN THE KITCHEN?!”
A man checks into a hotel on a business trip and was a bit lonely.
He thought of one of those girls you see advertised in phone booths
when you’re calling for a cab. He popped into a phone booth near
the hotel and found an ad for a girl calling herself Erogonique, a
lovely girl, bending over in the photo. She had all the right curves
in all the right places, beautiful long wavy hair, and long graceful l
egs all the way up to her… you know the kind. So, he is back in the
room and figures, what the hell, give her a call. “Hello?” the woman
says. Man, she sounded sexy. “Hi, I hear you give a great massage
and I’d like you to come to my room and give me one. No, wait, I
should be straight with you. I’m in town all alone and what I really
want is sex. I want it hard, I want it hot and I want it now. I’m talking
kinky the whole night long. You name it, we’ll do it. Bring implements,
toys, everything you’ve got in your bag of tricks. We’ll go hot and
heavy all night; Tie me up, wear a strap on, cover me in chocolate
syrup and whipped cream, anything you want baby.
Now, how does that sound?” She says, “That sounds fantastic,
but for an outside line you need to press 9.”
As some of you would also know I am a part time writer: I have been
sitting and writing on the veranda of a palace owned and restored by my
host and friend in India. It was built at the time of the Britishers occupation
for some general or other. Today was the day of Karva Chauth on which
all the wives of the Hindu faith rise before sunrise for a modest breakfast
and they then fast all day until the moon can be seen. During the day a
number of wives came together to form a simple ritual and pray. It brought
a tear to my eye to then see the mother of my friend stand in the dark and
pray before the moon for her husband and then share water and an
embrace after a lifetime of faithful marriage which had started out “arranged.”
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