Happy Ending News

Sep 16, 2011

Hi Everyone,

I have exchanged some emails with Garry about the Julia joke that he was annoyed about.
Finally I can see his point of view: A leading shock jock actually called for her to be taken
out to sea and drowned, on the radio, to a huge audience who seem to be egging him on
and egging themselves on as well. I believe Gary is right in that it would be best not to
contribute to such a thing, even in jest.

Now I think these are harmless:
“Labour are now proven to be stupid, they put a woman in as prime minister, didn’t they.”
and “If Tony Abbot sold his arse he wouldn’t have anything to talk through.”

Some Irish – I particularly like the last one:
Paddy was patiently waiting and watching the traffic cop
on a busy New York street crossing. The cop stopped the
flow of traffic and shouted, “Okay, pedestrians.” Then he'd
allow the traffic to pass. He'd done this several times, and
Paddy still stood on the sidewalk.
After the cop had shouted, “Pedestrians!” for the tenth time,
Paddy went over to him and said, “Is it not about time ye let
the Catholics across?”

Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was
dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he
had died. He quickly phoned his best friend, Finney.
“Did you see the paper?” says he, “They say I died!!”
“Yes, I saw it!” replied Finney. “Where’s ye callin' from?”

Patton staggered home very late after another evening with
his drinking buddy, Paddy. He took off his shoes to avoid
waking his wife, Kathleen. He tiptoed as quietly as he could
toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but
misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by
grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed
heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket
broke and made the landing especially painful. Managing not
to yell, Patton sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked
in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and
bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids
and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place
he saw blood. He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid
box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed. In the morning,
Patton woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt
and Kathleen staring at him from across the room.
She said, “You were drunk again last night weren't you?”
Patton said, “Why you say such a mean thing?”
“Well,” Kathleen said, “It could be the open front door, it could
be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the
drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your
bloodshot eyes, but mostly… it's all those Band-Aids stuck
on the hall mirror.”

"I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the
more luck I have." Thomas Jefferson

"Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being
made." Otto von Bismarck

"Cocaine is God's way of saying that you're making too
much money." Robin Williams

"I have never met a man so ignorant that I couldn't learn something
from him." Galileo Galilei

Two guys are setting up a new store when on old guy pokes
his head in and asks. "What are you sellin' here?"
One of the men replies sarcastically, "We're selling ass-holes."
Without skipping a beat the old timer says, "Must be doing well...
Only two left."

Glasgow Rangers manager flies to Baghdad to watch a young Iraqi
play Football and is suitably impressed and arranges for him to come
over to Scotland. Two weeks later they are 4-0 down to Aberdeen
with only 20 minutes left. The manager gives the young Iraqi striker
the nod and on he goes. The lad is a sensation - scores 5 goals in
20 minutes and wins the game for Rangers! The fans are delighted,
the players and coaches are delighted and the media love the new star.
When the player comes off the pitch he phones his mum to tell her
about his first day in Scottish football. "Hello mum, guess what?
I played for 20 minutes today, we were 4-0 down but I scored 5 and
we won. Everybody loves me, the fans, the media, they all love me."
"Wonderful," says his mum, "Let me tell you about my day. Your father
got shot in the street and robbed, your sister and I were ambushed,
gang raped and beaten and your brother has joined a gang of looters,
and all while you were having such great time."
The young lad is very upset, "What can I say mum, but I'm so sorry."
"Sorry?!!! Sorry?!!!" says his mum, "It's your bloody fault we moved
to Glasgow in the first place!"

Italian Moma:
Mrs.Rosa comes to visit her son, Anthony, for dinner.
He lives with a female roommate, Maria.
During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help
but notice how pretty Anthony's roommate was and over
the course of the evening, while watching the two interact,
she started to wonder if there was more between Anthony
and his roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's
thoughts, Anthony volunteered, "I know what you must be
thinking, but I assure you, Maria and I are just roommates.''
About a week later, Maria came to Anthony saying, "Ever
since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find
the silver sugar bowl. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"
"Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure." So he sat
down and wrote an email:
Dear mama,
I'm not saying that you "did" take the sugar bowl from my
house; I'm not saying that you "did not" take it. But the fact
remains that it has been missing ever since you were here
for dinner.
Love, Anthony
Several days later, Anthony received a response email from
his Mama which read:
Dear son,
I'm not saying that you "do" sleep with Maria, and I'm not
saying that you "do not" sleep with her. But the fact remains
that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed,
she would have found the sugar bowl by now.
Love, Mama

Kings Court girls: Things of note!!
Lauren who is a very very tall and busty German is back after three years.

The winner of the double massage this week is: PURPLE F 62
Winners List
Wednesday, 10th August 2011 E-24 Orange
Wednesday, 17th August 2011 E-40 Purple
Wednesday, 24th August 2011 D-51 Red
Wednesday, 31st August 2011 B-62 Red
Wednesday, 7th September 2011 C-63 Black
Wednesday, 14th September 2011 F-62 Purple

See all the winning results at: http://www.kingscourt.com.au/happy-ending-news
“Happy Ending News” is now up to date!

Kings Court – Busty List - These are genuine and real:
Busty and shapely: Lauren Madeline, Monica, Alicia, Isabelle, Yuki and Erica - Japanese
Extra Busty and Shapely: Helena, Bianca (breastacular,) Alana
Tiny Girls Extreme Busty: Josie, Melanie

The Kings Court Massage “Whole List” refreshed on Wed 16.9.11
Asian ladies are presented in green !!!!
Alana, Attractive, Fun and English Very Very Busty and Friendly
Alicia, mostly days, busty Aussie, likes to wear sexy themed outfits - Affectionate.!
Amber, blonde slim becoming less shy university student in her mid twenties – away
Arn, Japanese slightly older and very attentive.
Ashley, qualified masseuse very friendly
Bianca Lovely girl – very pretty and busty BREASTACULAR!!, exotic looks.
Cara, Indonesian, slim shy pretty
Crystal, Blonde Aussie few shifts only
Claudia and Monica, Spanish beauties, evenings 3 shifts a week NEW
Cleo, Thai, tall slim pretty
Erica, Japanese very pretty and young. Busty and Popular
Faith, Tall BLACK Marutian
Gina, young blonde German, bubbly personality Popular
Helena, busty DD European redhead
Holly pretty young blonde Aussie
Isabelle, Busty DD personable brunette Aussie. Great fun in the spa !!!!
Jordan, Slim Aussie from Eurasian background. Pretty and Personable. Fairly small.
Josie Busty pretty Asian. Petite yet busty. Very good masseuse
Kelly, Slim dark Indonesian.
Kim, Slim attractive Asian. Quite Beautiful
Kylie, Pretty German incredibly beautiful eyes Only 9am to 12 noon Wed, Fri and Sat
Lara, Slim Surfie Aussie with perky bust. NEW
Lauren, very very tall, busty, blonde German, friendly Restart
Lee, Slim beautiful Korean who loves it here. NEW and full of life!!
Lilly, Pretty slender American/Italian very sweet little thing. Already very popular.
Madeline, Tall Busty BRAZILIAN. Restart: Hot South American !!
Melanie, Prettiest big bust on the prettiest little cute girl.
Monica and Claudia, Spanish beauties, evenings 3 shifts a week NEW
Mya, Energetic and friendly and very attractive Asian Only Mondays now.
Natasha, Another Spanish looking beauty - busty NEW
Nadia, Pretty Slovakian with good massage. On holidays until to late Sept.
Natalie, Pretty Aussie/European brunette Holidays until end September !!
Penny, Pretty redhead. Very attentive nice girl was Hannah before. Going away soon
Rosemaree, Slim Aussie blonde. Very Blonde and very Pretty
Sasha Medium Aussie beautiful brown eyes
Sandy, Japanese sweet and petite, very nice girl
Stacey Tall Aussie slim and popular
Valeska, Slim Gothic.
Vivian, Japanese very pretty and shapely
Yasmin German/Aussie brunette very pretty and very popular
Yuki, Busty and beautiful Japanese fairly good English

Kings Court: The place where first time customers get to meet first time girls.

God went missing for six days:
Michael the Archangel found him, resting on the seventh day.
He inquired of God, "Where have you been?"
God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed
downwards through the clouds, "Look Michael, look what I've made."
Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"
"It's the Earth!” replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. Its a place of great balance".
"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.
God explains, pointing to different parts of Earth. "For example, Northern
Europe is a place of great opportunity and wealth while Southern Europe is poor"
"Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent
of black people" God continued, pointing to different countries.
And over there, I call this place America. North America will be rich and powerful
and cold, while South America will be poor, and hot and friendly. Can you see
the balance?"
"Yes" said the Archangel, impressed by Gods work, then he pointed to a large
land mass and asked, "What's that one?" "Ah" said God. "That's Australia, the
most glorious place on Earth. There are beautiful mountains, rainforests, rivers,
streams and an exquisite coastline. The people are good looking, intelligent
and humorous and can be found travelling the world. They're extremely sociable,
hard-working and high-achieving. They are known throughout the world as
diplomats and carriers of peace. I have also given them super-human,
undefeatable cricket skills and rugby players who will be admired and feared
by all who come across them".
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then "You said there will be
BALANCE!" God replied wisely. "Wait until you see the ugly, whining, sheep
rooting, Kiwi bastards I'm putting next to them".

First time:
A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. "What’ll you have?"
says the Bartender. "I want 6 shots of whisky," responded the young
man. "6 shots! Are you celebrating something?" "Yeah, my first blowjob."
"Well, in that case, let me give you a 7th on the house." "No offence, sir.
But if 6 shots won't get rid of the taste, Nothing will."

Regards
Big John