Happy Ending News

Jul 16, 2011

Hi Everyone

Well the cast is off my broken leg but boy is it tender!
Still using the electric wheel chair which I bought on Bartercard.

Speaking of which I got to throw out a very naughty Bartercard
client this week. I say to him, “Why did you give the girl so much trouble
that she had to go and tell the manager? And in fact I have spoken to the
other girls about you and they all don’t want to see you”
He says, “These girls have issues.” I say, “What is the matter with you, I
should hit you with my walking stick. All you are doing is trying to blame
some really nice girls for you being an idiot and now you will not be able to
come back here. The girls who get to choose who they see.”
So there you are: Even in a wheel chair I get to be bossy !!!

The electric chair is worth mentioning as we now have an aging population
and just about every one will know someone who will need one. When I went
to look the prices were from $9,000 and upwards. The one I got was for
indoors and out and it is called a Pronto and I got it for $3,700 from
Watercomfort in Taren Point. It turns on central wheels.
Website:   http://www.watercomfort.com.au/

Mate’s missus left him last Thursday; said she was going out for a
pint of milk and never came back! I asked him how he was coping
and he said “Not bad, I've been using that powdered stuff.”

The Grim Reaper comes for a guy who beats him off
with a vacuum cleaner. Talk about Dyson with death.

Salesman knocks at a house. The door is opened by a
ten-year-old smoking a cigar with a glass of whiskey and
a Penthouse magazine. He says, "Hello son. Is your Mom
or Dad home?" The kid says, "What the f*ck do you think?"

Circle the cat game – it can be done:
http://www.members.shaw.ca/gf3/circle-the-cat.html

The winner of the double massage this week is: ORANGE A 80
The winner of the double massage last week was: PURPLE A 39
Winners List
Wednesday, 14th April 2011 E-9 Purple
Wednesday, 20th April 2011 D-44 Green
Wednesday, 27th April 2011 A-45 Purple
Wednesday, 4th May 2011 F-41 Black
Wednesday, 11th May 2011 E-67 Blue
Wednesday, 18th May 2011 D-44 Red
Wednesday, 25th May 2011 D-29 Purple
Wednesday, 1st June 2011 E-38 Orange
Wednesday, 8th June 2011 D-19 Black
Wednesday, 15th June 2011 A-52 Green
Wednesday, 22nd June 2011 D-44 Purple
Wednesday, 29th June 2011 C-82 Black
Wednesday, 6 th July 2011 A-39 Purple
Wednesday, 13th July 2011 A-80 Orange

See all the winning results at: http://www.kingscourt.com.au/happy-ending-news/
“Happy Ending News” is now up to date!

Kings Court – Busty List - These are genuine and real:
Busty and shapely: Alicia, Carmen, Isabelle, Mari and Yuki (Both Japanese)
Extra Busty and Shapely: Alana (a bit more than extra busty,) Helena,
Bianca (breastacular,) Zoe and Czech girl: Raquel
Tiny Girls Extreme Busty: Josie, Melanie

The Kings Court Massage “Whole List” refreshed on Sat 16.7.11
Asian ladies are presented in green
Abigail, Pretty blonde. Very attentive nice girl. RESTART
Alana, Attractive, Fun and English Very Very Busty and Friendly - Awesome Massage!!
Really nice girl with soft white complexion and nice pale nipples.
Alicia, mostly days, busty Aussie, likes to wear sexy themed outfits - Affectionate.!
April, Young shy blonde. NEW
Arn, Japanese slightly older and very attentive.
Ashley, qualified masseuse very friendly
Bianca Lovely girl – very pretty and busty BREASTACULAR!!, exotic looks.
Cara, Indonesian, slim shy pretty
Carmen, Very attractive busty BRAZILIAN. NEW
Cleo, Thai, tall slim pretty
Erica, Japanese very pretty and young. NEW
Eve, Petite Australian cute, pretty
Faith, Tall BLACK Marutian.
Gina Popular German tall and slim off for 6 weeks
Hannah Cute Swedish Brunette
Heidi pretty Pocket Rocket brunette from New Zealand NEW
Helena, busty DD European redhead
Isabelle, Busty DD personable brunette Aussie. Great fun in the spa !!!!
Jordan, Slim Aussie from Eurasian background. Pretty and Personable. Fairly small.
Josie Busty pretty Asian. Petite yet busty. Very good masseuse Holidays to 3rd May
Kelly, Slim dark Indonesian.
Kim, Slim attractive Asian. She had been off and is now doing a few shifts.
Kylie, Pretty German incredibly beautiful eyes  going on holidays last day is Thurs
Lilly, Slim young Indonesian
Louise, on holidays until August
Mari JAPANESE very sweet and shapely girl.
Melanie, Prettiest big bust on the prettiest little cute girl. RESTART
Melissa, Small personable Aussie brunette. Back on Wed and Fri evenings
Very good massage and has repeat customers !!
Mya, Energetic and friendly and very attractive Asian Very Good Massage!
Nadia, Pretty Slim and curvy Slovakian with good massage
skills. Beautiful personality – Has good repeat Business
Naomi, Young and slim attractive Asian.
Natalie, Pretty Aussie/European brunette NEW
Natasha, Uni Student – pretty young brunette on holidays to 23 July
Olivia, Pretty English Rose size 8 blonde
Penny, Pretty redhead. Very attentive nice girl RESTART was Hannah before.l
Racquel, Busty Blonde, CZECH size 12 friendly, busty and gives a very good massage.
Rosemaree, Slim Aussie blonde. Very Blonde and very Pretty.
Sandy, Japanese sweet and petite, very nice girl. Away on holidays
Stacey Tall Aussie slim and popular RESTART
Suzy, Cute Chinese – very good massage and repeat clients. Away on holidays
Valeska, Slim Gothic.
Vanessa Sexy busty Aussie blonde – perky
Vivian, Japanese very pretty and shapely. NEW
Yasmin German/Aussie brunette ring 02 9660 0666 see when she
is on and be first in as she is very pretty and very popular
Yuki, Busty and beautiful Japanese fairly good English NEW
Zoe Busty Aussie blonde – nice personality
FOUR NEW GIRLS: Not yet listed !!!!

Everyone knows someone who should know about Kings Court!!!
Kings Court secret: We do not, knowingly, take girls from other places. There are
more new girls here who have never done anything naughty before than any other
place, and more customers who have never been to such a place before.
Everyone knows someone who should get themselves to Kings Court either for their
first outing with a woman (its harmless fun) or for a girl who needs to change her life
and pay off a heavy commitment or get away from an arsehole who she is trapped
with – it is harmless fun for adults.

Misc URLs
Samuel L. Jackson narrates "Go the Fuck to Sleep"
http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2bjTEc/www.nerve.com/news/books/listen-samuel-l-jackson-narrates-go-the-fuck-to-sleep

See the recent alignment of the stars if you insert 16th May 2011:
http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2jRGYC/dd.dynamicdiagrams.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/orrery_2006.swf

Mother Gaia:
http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2t4YrB/9gag.com/gag/141807/

Weird Sh!t – Pakistani Spiders in Trees:
http://www.wired.co.uk/news/archive/2011-03/30/pakistan-tree-spiders

Star Wars Help Desk:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5DqIOT3wwrI

Very long list of street-art on buildings – entertaining for a while:
http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/1Jc3xU/www.streetartutopia.com/?p=2014

This is a repeat because I just cannot get enough of Hispanic women well dressed or undressed:

Salma Hayek in the Campari advert:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5_u2jwNCVQ&feature=related

Salma Hayek - Snake Dance
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvyxEBNHk-0
Slightly longer version – if you are up for it: Santanico Pandemonium
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qtsNSKfK_Zo&NR=1

A Problem with Romance:
A man was very distraught at the fact that he had not had a romantic
date in quite some time. He was afraid he might have something
wrong with him, so spoke to his doctor about the problem, and he
was referred to a specialist, Dr Chang.
Upon entering the examination room, Dr. Chang said, "OK, take off
all your crose." So he did. "Now, get down and craw reery fass to
the other side of room." So, he did. Dr. Chang then said, "OK now
craw reery fass to me," so he did. Dr. Chang slowly shook his head
and said "Your probrem vewy bad, you haf Ed Zachary Disease,
worse case I ever see, that why you not haf any romance."
Confused, the man asked, "What is Ed Zachary Disease?" Dr. Chang
replied, "It when your face rook Ed Zachary rike your bottom."

A Problem with Romance – Big John version:
A man goes to his foreign doctor and says, “I am not successful at
getting dates with the girls and I am wondering if it could be a medical
problem?” The doctor instructs him to undress and then to go to the
corner of the room and bend over and look back at the doctor from
between his naked legs. The Doc then says, “With your hands, now
be spreading the cheeks of your arse… Mmmm.” The man dresses
and says to the medico, “Okay Doc what’s the verdict?” The doctor
replies, “I’m afraid it be true. You’re havin’ Zacharies Disease!” The
man says, “Zacharies Disease! What the f*ck is that?” The Doctor
says, “Well… it is when your face looks zachary like your ars3hole.”

Situational Awareness Scenario:
You are driving in a car at a constant speed.
On your left side is a valley and on your right side
is a fire engine travelling at the same speed as you.
In front of you is a galloping pig which is the same
size as your car and you cannot overtake it. Behind
you is a helicopter flying at ground level.
Both the giant pig and the helicopter are also travelling
at the same speed as you. What must you do to safely
get out of this highly dangerous situation?
Get off the children's "Merry-Go-Round", you're pissed!

Irish Jokes:
After a funeral a well dressed Irish man is drinking in a bar when
a very flamboyant gay man comes up to him and asks,
"Can I give you a blow job?"
The Irishman immediately punches him.
The bar tender comes over and asks, "Why did you hit that guy?"
The Irish man replied, "He said somethin about me gettin a job"

Paddy goes to the vet with his goldfish.
"I think it's got epilepsy" he tells the vet.
Vet takes a look and says "It seems calm enough to me".
Paddy says, "I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet".

Mother is working in the kitchen, listening to her five year old son
playing with his electric train in the living room. The train stops and the
kid says, "All of you bastards who want off, get the hell off now and all
of you bastards who are getting on, get your ass in the train, 'couse
we're going down the tracks!" The horrified mother goes in and tells her
son, "It is not nice to talk that way. Now go your room and stay there for
two hours. When you come out, you can play with your train, but I want
you to use nice language." After the two hours the son resumed playing
with his train. Soon the train stopped, the mother hears her son say,
"All you nice passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember
to take your belongings with you. We thank you for travelling with us today
and hope your trip was a pleasant one." Smiling she hears him continue,
"For those of you just boarding we ask you to please hurry along and we
hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today. For those
of you who are pissed off about the two hour delay, please complain to the
fat b!tch in the kitchen."

Thank Heavens for Religion as it creates some of the best jokes:
Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman are having coffee.
The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a Priest.
When he walks into a room, people call him "Father."
The second man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he
walks into a room they call him "Your Grace."
The third man says, "My son the Cardinal is called "Eminence."
The fourth Catholic gent then says "My son is a Pope, when
he walks into a room people say "Your Holiness".
The lone Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence, then
says, "My daughter is slim and tall with 38 double D breasts,
when she walks into a room people say, “My God."

Teacher; "Little Johnny, can you tell me the name of 3 great
kings who brought happiness and peace into people's lives?"
Little Johnny says, "Drin-king, smo-king and fuc-king.

Regards
Big John