Apr 27, 2011
Hi Everyone
That was a long long Easter.
I kept this as it really is cool:
Banned Cadbury cream Egg Commercial. egg porn. Easter 2011 XXX
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bGCbDtng5MA&feature=player_embedded
I was going over old jokes and found myself laughing at this one:
Sitting together on a train, travelling through the Swiss Alps, were an
English guy, an Irishman, a little old Greek lady, and a young blonde
with large breasts.
The Train goes into a dark tunnel and a few seconds later there is the
sound of a loud slap.
When the train emerges from the tunnel, the English guy has a bright
red, hand-print on his cheek. No one speaks.
The old lady thinks: The English guy must have groped the blonde in
the dark, and she slapped his cheek.
The blonde thinks: That English guy must have tried to grope me in the
dark, but missed and fondled the old lady and she slapped his cheek.
The English guy thinks: That Paddy (Irish) must have groped the blonde
in the dark – she tried to slap him but missed and got me instead.
And the Irish guy thinks: I can't wait for another tunnel, just so I can
smack that English bastard again.....
I saw a poor old lady slip over today on the escalator!! At least I presume
she was poor - she only had $1.20 in her purse.
An old lady is being examined by the Doctor. He asks her, “Have you
ever been bedridden?” She says, “Yes I have. I've also been table
ended and backskuttled a few times too.”
Went for my routine check up today and everything seemed to be
going fine until he stuck his index finger up my @rse!
I think I should change dentists?
Quotations:
"I have yet to see any problem, however complicated, which,
when you looked at it in the right way, did not become still
more complicated." Paul Anderson
"The beginning of knowledge is the discovery of something we
do not understand." Frank Herbert (Acclaimed Sci-Fi Writer)
Don’t worry I don’t think I understood it – but I am not an intellectual.
The winner of the double massage this week is: PURPLE A 45
Winners List
Wednesday, 23rd March 2011 E-55 Red
Wednesday, 30th March 2011 D-1 Blue
Wednesday, 7th April 2011 F-27 Red
Wednesday, 14th April 2011 E-9 Purple
Wednesday, 20th April 2011 D-44 Green
Wednesday, 27th April 2011 A-45 Purple
See all the winning results at: http://www.kingscourt.com.au/win.php
Kings Court – Busty List - These are genuine and real:
Busty and shapely: Alicia, Roxy, Isabelle, Mari and Yuki (Both Japanese)
Extra Busty and Shapely: Alana ( a bit more than extra,) Amber, Sabrina, Bianca, June,
Shannon (tattoos,) and Czech Raquel
Tiny Girls Extreme Busty: Josie, Melanie
The Kings Court Massage “Whole List” refreshed on Wed 27.4.11
Asian ladies are presented in green
Alana, Attractive, Fun and English Very Very Busty and Friendly - Awesome Massage!!
Really nice girl with soft white complexion and nice pale nipples.
Alex, Petite Australian/Russian
Alicia, mostly days, busty Aussie, likes to wear sexy themed outfits - Affectionate.!
Amber, Tall curvy busty DD red head Aussie away at the moment
Amy, Young South American hottie, very nice but unreliable to the max.
April, Tall slim Aussie and very pretty. NEW NEW NEW
Bianca Lovely girl – very pretty and busty BREASTACULAR!!, exotic looks.
Brooke, Tall slim English and pretty. Off for a Week
Cara, Indonesian, slim shy pretty BACK THIS WEEK
Cleo, Thai, tall slim pretty
Dana, Thai, curvy with a very pretty face. NEW
Eve, Petite Australian pretty
Faith, Tall BLACK Marutian. NEW
Hannah Cute Swedish Brunette
Ingrid, busty size redhead, friendly
Isabelle, Busty DD personable brunette Aussie. Great fun in the spa !!!!
Jade: Very beautiful BLACK AFRICAN princess very shy and only one day a week
Jordan, Slim Aussie from Eurasian background. Pretty and Personable. Fairly small. RESTART
Josie Busty pretty Asian. Petite yet busty. Very good masseuse Holidays to 3rd May
June, Busty friendly brunette Aussie.
Kelly, Slim dark Indonesian.
Kim, Slim attractive Asian.
Kylie, Pretty German incredibly beautiful eyes Sweety - Very Popular
Lisa, Slim tall Thai
Louise, on holidays until August
Mari JAPANESE sweet, busty, very nice girl. Mostly Fri
and Sat evening – very sweet and shapely girl.
Melanie, Prettiest big bust on the prettiest little cute girl. RESTART
Melissa, Small personable Aussie brunette. Back on Wed and Fri evenings
Surprisingly very good massage and very popular !!
Monique, Energetic and friendly and very attractive Asian Holidays to Thailand
Mya, Energetic and friendly and very attractive Asian
Nadia, Pretty Slim and curvy Slovakian with actual massage
training. Beautiful personality – Has good repeat Business
Naomi, Young and slim attractive Asian.
Natasha, Slim Aussie with glasses – oh so cute !! NEW
Paris, Pretty European Brunette NEW
Racquel, Busty Blonde, CZECH size 12 RESTART very popular
as she is friendly, busty and gives a very good massage.
Rosemaree, Slim Aussie blonde, popular NEW
Roxy Busty exotic Aussie Many Tattoos Last shift on the 12th May
Sabrina, very, very, very busty European redhead back from holiday
Sandy, Japanese sweet and petite, very nice girl.
Shannon Very Busty exotic Aussie Many Tattoos Last shift on the 12th May
Stacey Tall Aussie slim and popular RESTART
Suzy, Cute Chinese – very good massage and repeat clients. Away til 2nd Mar
Valeska, Slim Gothic.
Vanessa Slim Brunette English Qualified Masseuse for a
great massage and she gets lots of return clients – only Fri
Yasmin German/Aussie brunette ring 02 9660 0666 see when she
is on and be first in as she is very pretty and very popular
Yuki, Busty and beautiful Japanese fairly good English NEW
A doctor was addressing a large audience in Oxford ... "The material we put into our stomachs should have killed most of us
sitting here, years ago. Red meat is full of steroids and dye. Soft drinks
corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. He went on and on and finally said, “Can anyone here tell me what
food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after
eating it?" After several seconds of quiet, a 70-year-old man in the
front row raised his hand, and softly said, "Wedding Cake."
My god! What happened to you?" the bartender asked
Kelly as he hobbled in on a crutch, one arm in a cast.
"I got in a tiff with Riley."
"Riley? He's just a wee fellow," the barkeep said surprised.
"He must have had something in his hand."
"That he did," Kelly said. "A shovel it was."
"Dear Lord. Didn't you have anything in your hand?"
"Aye, that I did -- Mrs. Riley's left tit." Kelly said. "And
a beautiful thing it was, but not much use in a fight!"
Remember everyone knows someone who should know
about Kings Court – It really is harmless fun!
Only in America Joke:
Defence Attorney: Will you please state your age?
Little Old Lady: I am 86 years old.
Defence Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened
the night of April 1st?
Little Old Lady: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front
porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping
up on the Porch and sat down beside me.
Defence Attorney: Did you know him?
Little Old Lady: No, but he sure was friendly.
Defence Attorney: What happened after he sat down?
Little Old Lady: He started to rub my thigh.
Defence Attorney: Did you stop him?
Little Old Lady: No, I didn't stop him.
Defence Attorney: Why not?
Little Old Lady: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abner died
some 30 years ago.
Defence Attorney: What happened next? Little Old Lady: He began to rub
my breasts.
Defence Attorney: Did you stop him then?
Little Old Lady: No, I did not stop him.
Defence Attorney: Why not?
Little Old Lady: His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I
haven't felt that good in years!
Defence Attorney: What happened next?
Little Old Lady: Well, by then, I was feeling really "spicy" that I just
laid down and told him "Take me, young man. Take me!"
Defence Attorney: Did he take you?
Little Old Lady: Hell, no! He just yelled, "April Fool!" And that's
when I shot him, the little bastard.
____________________________________________________
VERY FUNNY STUFF:
TV Show Choice? - is Ronnie Corbett telling the truth or is he lying:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9cz3ybhsXDY&NR=1
Ronnie Corbett and others who look vaguely familiar:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fyLUHK6MGFM&NR=1
Little Britain - Carol in Spain
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-9IdOAQU-wQ
Little Britain - Computer says No:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ZAoMv_QnAU&NR=1
Little Britain – more funny version - Computer says No:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e3MZsirJeqI&NR=1&feature=fvwp
____________________________________________________
Misc Stuff:
Top 10 Hottest Comic Book Girls:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHojCyCdoZU&NR=1&feature=fvwp
Aussies are now growing the worlds hottest Chillis:
http://www.australiangeographic.com.au/journal/aussies-grow-worlds-hottest-chilli.htm
An ultra cool magnetic toy:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gidumziw4JE
An ultra cool shopping site that sells little things at little prices:
http://www.tinydeal.com/
Jeri Ryan - 7 of 9 from Star Trek:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8gkmebN1tc&feature=related
____________________________________________________
My first computer was an Apple II before the first Macs came out.
It had a sound card and was rigged to say, “Sorry Dave. I can’t
do that” as its default error message.
I find the following film clips a bit spooky:
Remember This One - 2001 A Space Odyssey Opening:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cWnmCu3U09w
Sorry Dave I Can’t Do That:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LE1F7d6f1Qk&NR=1
HAL 9000 Apple ad:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nHJkAYdT7qo&feature=related
Best Death Scene Ever: HAL 9000:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=px0c4Tgg6gg&feature=related
First computer to sing actually sang Daisy Bell:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=41U78QP8nBk&feature=related
____________________________________________________
Only in America:
A married couple are driving home when they see a wounded skunk by
the side of the road. The wife gets out and brings it back to the car.
“It’s shivering and must be cold, what should I do?”
The husband said, “Put it between your legs to keep it warm.”
The wife says, “What about the smell?”
Husband says, “Hold its f*cking nose.”
Anagrams: Words or phrases made by rearranging
the letters of another word or phrase. Someone out
there has way too much time:
Dormitory
Dirty Room
The Morse Code
Here come Dots
Slot Machines
Cash Lost in 'em
Desperation
A Rope Ends It
Animosity
Is No Amity
Mother-in-law
Woman Hitler
Snooze Alarms
Alas! No More Z's
Alec Guinness (Star Wars: Obi Wan)
Genuine Class
Semolina
Is No Meal
The Public Art Galleries
Large Picture Halls, I Bet
A Decimal Point
I'm a Dot in Place
The Earthquakes
That Queer Shake
Eleven plus two
Twelve plus one
Contradiction
Accord not in it
Astronomer
Moon Starer
Princess Diana (Spookey)
End Is A Car Spin (Woo ooo)
Slot Machines
Cash Lost in 'em
Year Two Thousand
A Year To Shut Down
President Clinton of the USA
To copulate he finds interns
Regards
Big John
© 2011 Kings Court, All Rights Reserved.