The winner of the double massage last week was: Green A 58
and this week was: Blue A 19

See all the winning results at:   http://www.kingscourt.com.au/win.php

The Trouble and Strife:
A KIWI walks into the bedroom with a sheep on a leash and says…
“Honey, this is the cow I make love to when you have a headache.”
The wife, lying in the bed reading a book, looks up and says,
“If you weren’t such an idiot, you’d know that’s a sheep, not a cow.”
The guy replies, “If you weren’t such a presumptuous bitch,
You’d realize I was talking to the sheep.”

WTF:
I’ve just found out I can still have sex at 72!
I am so happy because I live at 35,
so it’s not too far to walk home . . .

The Kings Court Massage “Whole List” refreshed on Wed 03.03.2010
Asian ladies have been added in green .
We have started a number of very shy Japanese girls.
Abigail, mostly Friday and Saturday nights, Friendly blonde with very fair skin.
Alana, Attractive Busty English “very nice” NEW
Alicia, mostly days, busty Aussie, likes to wear sexy themed outfits - Affectionate.!
Amanda, Young blonde Aussie chick
Ami, Japanese busty tall
Anna, Slim very attractive Spanish
April, Petite pretty cute Greek – blonde with a neat little body Three Week Holiday
Ashley Blonde busty KIWI
Bianca, mostly nights, Lovely girl – busty curvaceous, exotic looks.
Brenda, Irish with a cheeky personality
Bridgette, Tall busty dark New Zealander. An outstanding looker
Cathy, Dark and exotic attractive Indonesian
Chantal Scottish, size 16 very busty. Young smiley and pretty.
Charlotte Big blonde Aussie NEW
Claudia, VERY Tall German sweet girl is back from holidays.
Cleo, Tall slim Thai with exotic eyes – very nice
Desiree, Very pretty Brunette. Only on Weekends.
Elly Slim and sexy brunette.
Erika Japanese petite shy NEW
Gina Brunette Aussie Slim NEW
Heidi Blonde Aussie very young and pretty NEW
Ingrid Slim Curvy Italian quite attractive
Isabelle, Busty Australian has restarted.
Lilly, Young and slim attractive Indonesian Chinese NEW
Jackie, Dark skinned South American. Very special - Busty
Jane, Japanese sweet and petite
Jordan Brunette Aussie Slim
Josie Busty pretty Asian. Petite yet busty.
Katrina, French/German pale skin and black hair.
Kelly Sexy Japanese girl with a dancers body. Does Salsa in her spare time. NEW
Lana, Cute shy Philippino
Mandy, mostly days, American very popular and vivacious.
Martina Busty Japanese sweet and petite NEW
Melanie, Prettiest big bust in Australia on the prettiest little cute girl.
Mia Tall slim Maori New Zealander Italian looking model material
Monica, Aussie, slightly older, good body and friendly.
Naomi, Young and slim attractive Indonesian - NEW
Natalie, mostly days, wonderfully friendly Thai
Natasha, curvy brunette Turkish
Nina, 9am Saturday only, soft mild mannered, very popular Thai - On a three month holiday!
Olivia, Blonde, sweet English rose.
Paris, Very, very slim and quite young.
Raquel, Busty Czech Very good at massage!!
Roxy, Toned Tall and Slim. English Blonde.
Sabrina, very, very, very busty European redhead.
Samantha, Tall young Aussie Blonde
Sandy, Japanese sweet and petite
Suzy, Cute Chinese – very good massage and repeat clients.
Sylvia, Curvy South American quite attractive
Valerie, mostly nights, Malaysian good massage
Valeska, Slim Gothic. Popular.
Vanessa: Really! very attractive! Busty, brown hair.
Yasmin, Slim tall Thai
Yvette, Tall busty platinum blonde Aussie NEW

Some Tiger Woods golf bits:
Did you hear that tiger has a new movie coming out?
yes, its called crouching tiger hidden hydrant

When asked how many times she hit him his wife replied
“woo i dunno could have been 7, not sure….put me down for 5″

Tiger Woods is looking for a new driver…..

Bits and Pieces:

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.”
Albert Einstein

If you have it [Love], you don’t need to have anything else, and
if you don’t have it, it doesn’t matter much what else you have.
Sir James M. Barrie

True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights.
If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
Erich Segal


Two blondes walk into a building…
you’d think one of them would have seen it.

Phone answering machine message…
If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key.

A man drowned in a bowl of muesli…
A strong currant pulled him in.

I can’t stop singing “The Green, Green Grass of Home”
That sounds like the “Tom Jones syndrome.”
“Is it common?”
“It’s not unusual…”

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

My Neighbours ——- the lesbians next door ——– asked me what I
would like for my birthday. I was quite surprised when they gave me
a Rolex. It was very nice of them, but I think they misunderstood me
when I said, “I wanna watch.”

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the
same tune?  Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Blonde at the Doctor’s Office:
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor’s  office  and said that
her body hurt wherever she touched  it.
“Impossible!” says the doctor. “Show me.”
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast and screamed,
then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her
knee and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, “You’re not  really a redhead, are you?
“Well, no” she said, “I’m actually a blonde.”
“I thought so,” the doctor said. “Your finger is broken”.

More exchanges between pilots and control towers:
Tower: ‘TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees.’
TWA 2341: ‘Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?’
Tower: ‘Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?’

From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff queue: ‘I’m f…ing bored!’
Ground Traffic Control: ‘Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!’
Unknown aircraft: ‘I said I was f…ing bored, not f…ing stupid!’

A clever bricklayer’s accident report, which everyone vows is true:
I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block 3 of the
accident report form. I put “Poor planning” as the cause of my accident. You asked
for a fuller explanation and I trust the  following details will be sufficient. I am a
bricklayer by trade. On the  day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of
a new 6-storey building. When I completed my work, I found I had some bricks left
over, which, when weighed later were found to be slightly in excess of  500lbs.
Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to  lower them in a barrel by
using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor.
Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and
loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to
ensure a slow descent of the bricks. You will note in Block 11 of the accident report
form that I weigh 135lbs. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so
suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to
say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity of the 3rd
floor, I met the barrel which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive
speed. This explains the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collarbone,
as listed in Section 3 of the accident report form. Slowed only slightly, I continued
my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were 2 knuckles deep
into the pulley. Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was
able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of the excruciating pain I was now beginning
to experience. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the
ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks,
that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight. As you
might imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the building. In the vicinity
of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured
ankles, broken tooth and severe lacerations of my  legs and lower body. Here my
luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me
enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only
3 vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile
of bricks, in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind
and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back
down onto me. This explains the two broken legs. I hope this answers your inquiry.

regards

Big John

The winner of the double massage was: Blue A 14
See all the winning results at:   http://www.kingscourt.com.au/win.php

This is worth the read despite its length:
Local and state police scoured the hills outside rural Johnstown,
Pennsylvania, after reports of three animal rights activists going
missing after attempting to protest the wearing of leather at a large
motorcycle gang rally. Two others, previously reported missing,
were discovered by fast food workers “duct taped inside several
fast food restaurant dumpsters,” according to police officials.
“Something just went wrong,” said a still visibly shaken organizer
of the protest. “Something just went horribly, horribly, wrong.”
The organizer said a group of concerned animal rights activist groups,
“growing tired of throwing fake blood and shouting profanities at
older women wearing leather or fur coats,” decided to protest the
annual motorcycle club event “in a hope to show them our outrage at
their wanton use of leather in their clothing and motor bike seats.”
“In fact,” said the organizer, “motorcycle gangs are one of the
biggest abusers of wearing leather, and we decided it was high time
that we let them know that we disagree with them using it…ergo, they
should stop.” According to witnesses, protesters arrived at the event in
a vintage 1960’s era Volkswagen van and began to pelt the gang
members with balloons filled with red coloured water, simulating blood,
and shouting “you’re murderers” to passers by. This, evidently, is when
the brouhaha began. “They peed on me!!!” charged one activist. “They
grabbed me, said I looked like I was French, started calling me
‘La Trene’, and duct taped me to a tree so they could pee on me all
day!” Another activist said, “I…I was trying to show my outrage at a
man with a heavy leather jacket, and he…he didn’t even care. I called
him a murderer, and all he said was, ‘You can’t prove that.’ Next thing
I know he forced me to ride on the back of his motorcycle all day, and
would not let me off, because his girl friend was out of town and he said
he thought I was almost a woman.”
Still others claimed they were forced to eat hamburgers and hot dogs
under duress. Those who resisted were allegedly held down while
several bikers “farted on their heads.”
Police officials declined comments on any leads or arrests due to the
ongoing nature of the investigation, however, organizers for the
motorcycle club rally expressed “surprise” at the allegations.
“That’s preposterous,” said one high-ranking member of the biker
organizing committee. “We were having a party, and these people
showed up and were very rude to us. They threw things at us, called
us names, and tried to ruin the entire event. So, what did we do? We
invited them to the party! What could be more friendly than that? You
know, just because we are all members of motorcycle clubs does not
mean we do not care about inclusiveness. Personally, I think it shows
a lack of character for them to be saying such nasty things about us
after we bent over backwards to make them feel welcome.”
When confronted with the allegations of force-feeding the activists
meat, using them as ad hoc latrines, leaving them incapacitated in
fast food restaurant dumpsters, and ‘farting on their heads,’ the
organizer would only comment. “That’s just our way of being friendly.”

The Kings Court Massage “Whole List” refreshed on Wed 03.02.10
Abigail, mostly Friday and Saturday nights, Friendly blonde with very fair skin.
Alana, Attractive Busty English “very nice” NEW
Alex, Attractive Russian
Alicia, mostly days, busty Aussie, likes to wear sexy themed outfits - Affectionate.!
Amanda, Young blonde Aussie chick
Ami, Japanese busty tall
Anna, Slim very attractive Spanish
April, Petite pretty cute Greek – blonde with a neat little body
Ashley Blonde busty KIWI
Bianca, mostly nights, Lovely girl – busty curvaceous, exotic looks.
Brenda, Irish with a cheeky personality
Bridgette, Tall busty dark New Zealander. An outstanding looker
Cathy, Dark and exotic attractive Indonesian
Chantal Scottish, size 16 very busty. Young smiley and pretty.
Claudia, VERY Tall German sweet girl is back from holidays.
Cleo, Tall slim Thai with exotic eyes – very nice
Courtney, Busty pretty Ausie
Desiree, Very pretty Brunette. Only on Weekends.
Elly Slim and sexy brunette.
Faith, Busty Indian looking
Isabelle, Slim Curvy Italian quite attractive
Jackie, Dark skinned South American. Very special - Busty
Jade, Busty Japanese sweet and petite
Jane, Japanese sweet and petite Holiday
Katrina, French/German pale skin and black hair.
Lana, Cute shy Philippino
Mandy, mostly days, American BLONDE TEXAS BOMBSHELL, very popular and vivacious.
Martina Busty Japanese sweet and petite NEW
Melanie, Prettiest big bust in Australia on the prettiest little cute girl.
Mellisa mostly nights, Malaysian, friendly, good massage - gets repeat bookings
Monica, Aussie, slightly older, good body and friendly.
Natalie, mostly days, wonderfully friendly Thai
Nina, 9am Saturday only, soft mild mannered, very popular On a three month holiday!
Olivia, Blonde, sweet English rose.
Paris, Very, very slim and quite young.
Raquel, Busty Czech Very good at massage!!
Renee, mostly nights, slim blonde
Roxy, Very popular blonde slim Aussie
Sabrina, very, very, very busty European redhead.
Samantha, Tall young Aussie Blonde
Sandy, Japanese sweet and petite NEW
Suzy, Cute Chinese – very good massage and repeat clients.
Sylvia, Curvy South American quite attractive
Tina, Thai very easy to book – friend of Natalie
Valerie, mostly nights, Malaysian good massage
Valeska, Slim Gothic. Popular.
Vanessa: Really! very attractive! Busty, brown hair.
Yasmin, Slim tall Thai
Zoe, mostly days, perky and very, very pretty. Qualified masseuse who is very sensual.

Check out the new pictures of sexy girls (not from Kings Court) on this page:
http://www.kingscourt.com.au/gallery_danni.php

Irish Catholic Humour:
The priest in a small Irish village loved the rooster and ten hens he kept
in the hen house behind the church. One Sunday morning, before mass,
he went to feed the birds and discovered that the cock was missing.
He knew about cock fights in the village, so he questioned his
parishioners in church. During mass, he asked the congregation, “Has
anybody got a cock?” All the men stood up. “No, no,” he said, “that wasn’t
what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock?” All the women stood up.
“No, no,” he said, “that wasn’t what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock
that doesn’t belong to them?” Half the women stood up. “No, no,” he said,
“that wasn’t what I meant. Has anybody seen MY cock?”
Sixteen altar boys, two priests and a goat stood up.

Satanic Humour:
A few minutes before the church services started,
the congregation was sitting in their pews, talking.
Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church.
Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance,
trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.
Soon the church was empty except for one elderly gentleman
who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seemingly oblivious
to the fact that God’s ultimate enemy was in his presence..
So Satan walked up to the man and said, ‘Do you know who I am?’
The man replied, ‘Yep, sure do.’
‘Aren’t you afraid of me?’ Satan asked.
‘Nope, sure ain’t.’ said the man.
‘Don’t you realize I can kill you with one word?’ asked Satan.
‘Don’t doubt it for a minute,’ returned the old man, in an even tone.
‘Did you know that I can cause you profound, horrifying AGONY for
all eternity?’ persisted Satan.
‘Yep,’ was the calm reply.
‘And you are still not afraid?’ asked Satan.
‘Nope,’ said the old man
More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, ‘Why aren’t you afraid of me?’
The man calmly replied,
‘Been married to your sister for 54 years.’

A lengthy comment on the state of America’s war on drugs:
After 40 years of defeat and failure, America’s “war on drugs” is being buried
in the same fashion as it was born – amid bloodshed, confusion, corruption
and scandal. US agents are being pulled from South America; Washington is
putting its narcotics policy under review, and a newly confident region is no
longer prepared to swallow its fatal Prohibition error.
Indeed, after the expenditure of billions of dollars and the violent deaths of
tens of thousands of people, a suitable epitaph for America’s longest “war”
may well be the plan, in Bolivia, for every family to be given the right to grow
coca in its own backyard. The “war,” declared unilaterally throughout the world
by Richard Nixon in 1969, is expiring as its strategists start discarding plans
that have proved futile over four decades: they are preparing to withdraw their
agents from narcotics battlefields from Colombia to Afghanistan and beginning
to coach them in the art of trumpeting victory and melting away into anonymous
defeat. Not surprisingly, the new strategy is being gingerly aired in the media
of the US establishment, from The Wall Street Journal to the Miami Herald.
Prospects in the new decade are thus opening up for vast amounts of useless
government expenditure being reassigned to the treatment of addicts instead of
their capture and imprisonment. And, no less important, the ever-expanding
balloon of corruption that the “war” has brought to heads of government, armies
and police forces wherever it has been waged may slowly start to deflate.
Prepare to shed a tear over the loss of revenue that eventual decriminalisation
of narcotics could bring to the traffickers, large and small, and to the contractors
who have been making good money building and running the new prisons that
help to bankrupt governments – in the US in particular, where drug offenders –
principally small retailers and seldom the rich and important wholesalers – have
helped to push the prison population to 1,600,000; their imprisonment is already
straining federal and state budgets. In Mississippi, where drug offenders once
had to serve 85 per cent of their sentences, they are now being required to serve
less than a quarter. California has been ordered to release 40,000 inmates
because its prisons are hugely overcrowded.
At the same time, some in the US are confused and fear that the new commission
proposed by Congressman Eliot Engel, a man with a record of hostility to the
Cuban and Venezuelan governments, may prove to be a broken reed. As he
brought in his bill he added timidly: “Let me be absolutely clear that this bill has
not been introduced to support the legalisation of illegal drugs. That is not
something that I would like to see.”
Part of the reason for the slow US retreat from the “war” is that the strategy of
fighting it in foreign lands and not at home has proved valueless. Along the already
sensitive frontier with Mexico the effect of US attempts to enforce a hard line by
blasting drug dealers away has been bloody. Anxious to keep in check the flood
of illegal immigrants into territory that once belonged to Mexico, Washington is
building a wall and fence comparable to that which once cut through Berlin and
that which is today causing havoc between Israelis and Palestinians.
In the areas of Mexico closest to the US frontier the toll of deaths in drug-related
violence exceeded 7,000 people in 2009 (1,000 of them dying in January and
February). This takes the death toll over three years to above 16,000, figures far
in excess of US fatalities in Afghanistan. The bloodshed has continued despite –
or perhaps because of – the intense US pressure on President Felipe Calderon
to station a large part of the Mexican army in the region. It is deploying 49,000
men on its own soil in the campaign against drugs, a larger force than the 46,000
Britain sent to take part in the initial invasion of Iraq in 2003. But still the blood flows.
As in Colombia, where a multibillion-dollar US subsidy maintains that country’s
armed forces, there are well-founded suspicions that military operations are often
rendered futile because the miserably paid local commanders and individual
soldiers are easily bought off by drug dealers. The quiet expiry of the “war” has
dawned slowly on a world focused on the US’s more palpable conflicts in
Afghanistan and Iraq. Last month, the US House of Representatives gave
unanimous approval to a bill creating an independent commission to reconsider
domestic and international drug policies and suggest better ones. Congressman
Engel, a Democrat from the Bronx and the sponsor of the bill, declared: “Billions
upon billions of US taxpayer dollars have been spent over the years to combat
the drug trade in Latin America and the Caribbean. In spite of our efforts, the
positive results are few and far between.”
As far back as last May, Gil Kerlikowske, the former police chief of Seattle who
was named head of the US Office of National Drug Control Policy and thus
boss of the campaign, announced he would not be using the term “war on
drugs” any more. A few weeks earlier, former Latin American presidents of
the centre and right – Fernando Henrique Cardoso of Brazil, Ernesto Zedillo
of Mexico and Cesar Gaviria of Colombia – had told the new US President
that the “war” had failed and appealed for greater emphasis on cutting drug
consumption and the decriminalisation of cannabis.
For the lives and sanity of millions, the seeing of the light is decidedly late.
The conditions of the 1920s, when the US Congress outlawed alcohol and
allowed Al Capone and his kin to make massive fortunes, have been
re-created up and down Latin America.
Mexico’s President has not been afraid to point out to Washington that official
corruption is at the root of drug trafficking in the US just as it is in Mexico.
“I say we should investigate on both sides. I’m cleaning my house and I hope
that on the other side as well the house is being cleaned,” he said pointedly
last April before President Obama came visiting.
Furthermore, President Calderon says that lax gun control laws in the US
caused an influx of firearms into Mexico. He has declared that 90 per cent
of the 30,000 weapons that government forces seized from drug dealers in
Mexico came from north of the border. For their part, the Latin Americans,
under a new generation of more self-confident leaders, are tired of being
hectored about their failings by the US, the world’s principal source of
cannabis whose agents continue the drug dealing they indulged in
during the Iran-Contra affair of the Reagan years.
Evidence points to aircraft – familiarly known as “torture taxis” – used by
the CIA to move captives seized in its kidnapping or “extraordinary rendition”
operations through Gatwick and other airports in the EU being simultaneously
used for drug distribution in the Western hemisphere. A Gulfstream II jet
aircraft N9875A identified by the British Government and the European
Parliament as being involved in this traffic crashed in Mexico in September
2008 while en route from Colombia to the US with a load of more than three
tons of cocaine. In 2004, another torture taxi crashed in a field in Nicaragua
with a ton of cocaine aboard. It had been identified by Britain and the
European Parliament’s temporary committee on the alleged use of European
countries by the CIA for the transport and illegal detention of prisoners as a
frequent visitor in 2004 and 2005 to British, Cypriot, Czech, German, Greek,
Hungarian, Spanish and other European cities with its cargo of captives for
secret imprisonment and torture in Iraq, Jordan and Azerbaijan.
Given the circumstances, it is unremarkable that US strictures are being
politely ignored. President Evo Morales of Bolivia – criticised by the US
for defending Bolivians’ practice of chewing coca leaves to assuage hunger
and altitude sickness – wants to allow every Bolivian family around the city
of Cochabamba to cultivate coca bushes for their own use. He also wants
to export coca leaves to his country’s neighbours. Mr Morales’s authority,
recently reinforced by winning a second presidential term in fair elections
and by a strengthening of Bolivia’s economy, has no need to worry about
US criticism. Venezuela and Bolivia have expelled US narcotics officers
from their territory. At the end of last month, President Rafael Correa of
Ecuador ended Washington’s lease of a large air base on the Pacific from
where US aircraft were engaged in the struggle against the region’s
increasingly powerful left. This year should be the year that common sense
vanquishes the mailed fist in an un-winnable war against an invisible enemy.

regards

Big John

The winner of the double massage this week is: RED C 21
See all the winning results at:   http://www.kingscourt.com.au/win.php

Kings Court Party Night Tonight!!!!!!!
Food and nibbles from 6pm and Penthouse Pet Strippers at 8 pm and 10 pm
The best thing is the Male Stripper with the girls. It is hilarious to see how silly
they get when he stirs them up.

The Kings Court Massage “Whole List” refreshed on Thus 9.12.09
Abigail, mostly Friday and Saturday nights, Friendly blonde with very fair skin.
Alicia, mostly days, busty Aussie, likes to wear sexy themed outfits - Affectionate.!
Amanda, Young blonde Aussie chick NEW
Ami, Japanese busty tall
Anna, Slim very attractive Spanish
April, Petite pretty cute Greek – blonde with a neat little body NEW
Bianca, mostly nights, Lovely girl – busty curvaceous, exotic looks.
Bonny, Pretty blonde half Russian only on Tuesday days.
Carmen, Tall and friendly Aussie.
Cathy, Dark and exotic attractive Indonesian NEW
Chantal Scottish, size 16 very busty. Young smiley and pretty.
Claudia, VERY Tall German sweet girl is back from holidays.
Cleo, Tall slim Thai with exotic eyes – very nice NEW
Crystal, Busty Brazilian.
Desiree, Very pretty Brunette. Only on Weekends.
Erika, Japanese sweet a cute NEW
Elly, Slim and sexy brunette.
Eve, Cute intelligent with a great little body.
Faith, Busty Indian looking holidays until Jan 4th 2010
Hannah, mostly nights, also very shy and sweet, Aussie
Heidi, Beautiful Aussie chick  NEW.
Holly, Busty Aussie chick  NEW.
Ingrid, busty size 10 – 12 redhead, friendly
Jackie, Dark skinned South American  Holidays until January 11th 2010
Jade, Japanese sweet and petite NEW
Jessica, mostly nights, Chinese, very good massage
Josie, Busty Indonesian. Petite girl.
Julie, Busty pretty Japenese
Katrina, French/German pale skin and black hair.
Lana, Cute shy Philippino
Lara, Japanese sweet and petite NEW
Lilly, Japanese sweet and petite NEW
Mandy, mostly days, American BLONDE TEXAS BOMBSHELL, very popular and vivacious.
Mariella, Mostly days, South American beauty. Nice personality. Usually only on Friday days.
Megan, Very pretty Irish nice figure too. NEW
Mellisa, mostly nights, Malaysian, friendly, good massage - gets repeat bookings
Mia, Aussie with Vietnamese features away until January
Monica, Aussie, slightly older, good body and friendly.
Natalie, mostly days, wonderfully friendly Thai
Nina, 9am Saturday only, soft mild mannered, very popular
Olivia, Blonde, sweet English rose.
Paris, Very, very slim and quite young.
Raquel, Busty Czech  NEW. Very good at massage!!
Renee, mostly nights, slim blonde
Roxy, Very popular blonde slim Aussie
Ruby, mostly nights, very busty European
Sabrina, very, very, very busty European redhead.
Samantha, Tall young Aussie Blonde NEW
Suzy, Cute shy Chinese – very good massage and repeat clients.
Sylvia, Curvy South American quite attractive
Tina, Thai very easy to book – friend of Natalie - on holidays til January
Valerie, mostly nights, Malaysian good massage
Valeska, Slim Gothic. Popular.
Vanessa: Really! very attractive! Busty, brown hair.
Vivian, mostly days Aussie spiked hair, wild and very funny in the spa.
Yasmin, Slim tall Thai NEW
Zoe, mostly days, perky and very, very pretty. Qualified masseuse who is very sensual.

Politics:
A little boy goes to his dad and asks, “What is politics?”
Dad says, “Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I’m the breadwinner
of the family, so let’s call me capitalism. Your Mom, she’s the
administrator of the money, so we’ll call her the government. We’re here to
take care of your needs, so we’ll call you the people. The nanny, we’ll
consider her the working class. And your baby brother, we’ll call him
the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense,”
So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said. Later
that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him.
He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes
to his parents’ room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to
wake her, he goes to the nanny’s room. Finding the door locked, he peeks
in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and
goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, “Dad,
I think I understand the concept of politics now.” The father says, “Good
son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.
“The little boy replies, “Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class,
the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the
Future is in deep shit.”

Second Opinion:
The doctor said, “Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad
news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition which
causes your testicles to press on your spine, and the pressure creates
one hell of a headache… the only way to relieve the pressure is to remove
the testicles.” Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had
anything to live for.  He had no choice but to go under the knife. When he
left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years,
but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked
down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could
make a new beginning and live a new life.  He saw a men’s clothing store
and thought, “That’s what I need… a new suit.’” He entered the shop and
told the salesman, “I’d like a new suit.” The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and
said, “Let’s see… size 44 long.” Joe laughed, “That’s right, how did you know?”
“Been in the business 60 years!” the tailor said. Joe tried on the suit; it fit
perfectly. As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, “How
about a new shirt?” Joe thought for a moment and then said, “Sure.” The
salesman eyed Joe and said, “Let’s see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck.” Joe
was surprised, “That’s right, how did you know?” “Been in the business 60
years.” Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly. Joe walked comfortably
around the shop, and the salesman asked, “How about some new underwear?”
Joe thought for a moment and said, “Sure.” The salesman said, “Let’s see…
size 36.” Joe laughed, “Ah ha! I got you, I’ve worn a size 34 since I was 18
years old.” The salesman shook his head, “You can’t wear a size 34. A size
34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you
one hell of a headache!”

A Large Bic:
There were two golfers on the golf course. One of the men pulled out a cigarette,
and asked his friend for a light. His friend pulls out a 12 inch Bic lighter.  “Woah,
where did you get such a large Bic?”  ”Oh, my genie got it for me.” “Your genie?
You have a genie? Where is he?” “He is in my golf bag.” “Can I see him?” So the
friend looks in the bag and out comes the genie. The man says to the genie; “I am
your master’s best friend. Would you grant me just one wish?” The genie says
“yes, just one wish.” So the man wishes for a million bucks. The genie goes back
in the golf bag without saying a word. Pretty soon, the sky starts to get dark, then
it gets even darker. The man looks up and sees a million ducks. He gets real upset,
and says “what is the matter with your genie? Is he hard of hearing? I said a million
Bucks, not a million Ducks.” “Do you really think I asked for a 12 inch Bic?”

Logical  Vs. Legal:
After having failed his exam in a Student goes and confronts his lecturer  about it.
Student: “Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?”
“Professor: “Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!”
“Student: “Great, well then I would like to ask you a question. If you Can give me
the correct answer, I will accept my mark as is and go. If You however do not
know the answer, I want you give me an “A” for the Exam.”
Professor: “Okay, it’s a deal. So what is the question?”
Student: “What is legal, but not logical, logical, but not legal, and neither logical,
nor legal?” Even after some long and hard consideration, the professor cannot
give the student an answer, and therefore changes his exam mark into an “A”,
as agreed. Afterwards, the professor calls on his best student and asks him the
same  question.
He immediately answers: “Sir, you are 63 years old and married to a 35 year old
woman, which is legal, but not logical. Your wife has a 25 Year old lover, which is
logical, but not legal. The fact that you Have given your wife’s lover an “A”,
although he really should have failed, is neither legal, nor logical.”

Movie Trailer for Avatar:
http://www.apple.com/trailers/fox/avatar/hd/

Trillions - for Intellectuals Only:
http://vimeo.com/7395079

Those Crazy Americans:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzToNo7A-94&feature=related <http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzToNo7A-94&amp;feature=related>

One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river,
her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared
and asked, “My dear child, why are you crying?” The seamstress
replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and that she needed
it to help her husband in making a living for their family. The Lord
dipped His hand into the water and pulled up a golden thimble set with
sapphires. “Is this your thimble?” the Lord asked. The seamstress
replied, “No.” The Lord again dipped into the river. He held out a
golden thimble studded with rubies. “Is this your thimble?” the Lord
asked. Again, the seamstress replied, “No.” The Lord reached down
again and came up with a leather thimble. “Is this your thimble?” the
Lord asked. The seamstress replied, “Yes.” The Lord was pleased with
the woman’s honesty and gave her all three thimbles to keep, and the
seamstress went home happy..
Some years later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along
the riverbank, and her husband fell into the river and disappeared under
the water. When she cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked her,
“Why are you crying?” “Oh Lord, my husband has fallen into the river!”
The Lord went down into the water and came up with George Clooney.
“Is this your husband? The Lord asked. “Yes,” cried the seamstress.
The Lord was furious. “You lied! That is an untruth!” The seamstress
replied, “Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if
I had said “no” to George Clooney, you would have come up with Brad
Pitt. Then if I said “no” to him, you would have come up with my
husband. Had I then said “yes,” you would have given me all three..
Lord, I’m not in the best of health and would not be able to take care of
all three husbands, so THAT’S why I said “yes” to George Clooney.
And so the Lord let her keep him.

Life in the Australian Army…
Text of a letter from a kid from Eromanga to Mum and Dad.
(Eromanga is a small town, west of Quilpie in south west Qld)
Dear Mum & Dad,
I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil
that the Army is better than workin’ on the farm - tell them to get in
bloody quick smart before the jobs are all gone! I wuz a bit slow in
settling down at first, because ya don’t hafta get outta bed until 6am.
But I like sleeping in now, cuz all ya gotta do before brekky is make
ya bed and shine ya boots and clean ya uniform. No bloody cows to
milk, no calves to feed, no feed to stack - nothin’!!
Ya haz gotta shower though, but its not so bad, coz there’s lotsa hot
water and even a light to see what ya doing! At brekky ya get cereal,
fruit and eggs but there’s no kangaroo steaks or possum stew like
wot Mum makes. You don’t get fed again until noon and by that time
all the city boys are buggered because we’ve been on a ‘route march.’
Geez, its only just like walking to the windmill in the back paddock!!
This one will kill me brothers Doug and Phil with laughter. I keep
getting medals for shootin’ - dunno why. The bullseye is as big as a
bloody possum’s bum and it don’t move. All ya gotta do is make
yourself comfortable and hit the target - it’s a piece of piss!! You don’t
even load your own cartridges, they comes in little boxes, and ya
don’t have to steady yourself against the rollbar when you reload!
Sometimes ya gotta wrestle with the city boys and I gotta be real
careful coz they break easy - it’s not like fighting with Doug and Phil
and Jack and Boori and Steve and Muzza all at once like we do at
home after the muster. Turns out I’m not a bad boxer either and it
looks like I’m the best the platoon’s got, and I’ve only been beaten by
this one bloke from the Engineers - he’s 6 foot 5 and 15 stone and
three pick handles across the shoulders and as ya know I’m only 5 foot
7 and eight stone wringin’ wet, but I fought him till the other blokes
carried me off to the boozer. I can’t complain about the Army - tell the
boys to get in quick before word gets around how bloody good it is.
Your loving daughter, Sheila

More of the Irish
Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important
meeting and couldn’t find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said,
“Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every
Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey!”
Miraculously, a parking place appeared.
Paddy looked up again and said, “Never mind, I found one.”

Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he
meets, “Do you want to go to heaven?” The man said, “I do, Father.”
The priest said, “Then stand over there against the wall.”
Then the priest asked the second man, “Do you want to go to heaven?”
“Certainly, Father,” was the man’s reply. “Then stand over there against the
wall,” said the priest. Then Father Murphy walked up to O’Toole and said,
“Do you want to go to heaven?” O’Toole said, “No, I don’t Father.”
The priest said, “I don’t believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die
you don’t want to go to heaven?” O’Toole said, “Oh, when I die, yes.
I thought you were getting a group together to go right now.”

Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read
in the obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend,
Finney. “Did you see the paper?” asked Gallagher. “They say I died!!”
“Yes, I saw it!” replied Finney. “Where are ye callin’ from?”

Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender, “Pour me a stiff
one - just had another fight with the little woman.”
“Oh yeah?” said Charlie, “And how did this one end?”
“When it was over,” Mike replied, “She came to me on her hands and knees.”
“Really,” said Charles, “Now that’s a switch! What did she say?”
She said, “Come out from under the bed, you little chicken.”


regards

Big John