Happy Ending News

Jan 5, 2013

Well, hope you all got great presents for Christmas. If you didn’t, then you probably were not nice!
The following is a mix of stuff:

Interesting way to hear the Maori Language:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TBp8pwQkZXM

List of Big Things in Australia – Big Banana etc:
http://tim.anewleaf.com.au/2007/02/aussies-and-big-things/

Nice Bit of Music on Youtube:
Somewhere over the Rainbow - Israel "IZ" Kamakawiwoʻole, Platinum selling hit video produced by Jon de Mello for The Mountain Apple Company • HAWAI`I
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1bFr2SWP1I

Tinikling - Bamboo Dance:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TonQH9DjJT8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oCUEeSIVCxU

WY Tinikling 2010
Performed by the Whitney Young Magnet HS Asian American Club, this dance is a very popular national dance of the Philippines originating from the northern province. This fast paced dance imitates the movements of the tikling birds as they dodge bamboo traps set by rice farmers, demonstrating their legendary grace and speed. Enjoy!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DEvXfuygjKg

LEYTE DANCE THEATRE 's Ka Singkil version bayanihan dance video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oFSWZYS2t_o

Doctor to the Lady, "Your heart, lungs and blood pressure are all fine. Now, show me that little thing that gets you ladies into all kinds of trouble." She starts taking off her clothes ... The Doctor stops her: "No! No! Please don't undress. Just stick out your tongue!”

This following is politically incorrect and it is attributed to Jeff Foxworthy who apparently made these observations on Muslims. Alan Jones who is politically skewed to one side of politics is loved by some people and seems like an idiot to others outraged the Muslims and he has had to apologize for comments about them. Pauline Hanson outraged the Australian political sphere with comments that over time were however, gradually incorporated into the current political landscape to the detriment of people coming to our shores. All this centers around Xenophobia (the fear of other nations) and this has become the holy cow that we are being asked to not talk about. There is some truth and pain in these following items and truth and pain are the foundation of the best humour:
If you refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor. You may be a Muslim.
If you own a $3,000 machine gun and but you can't afford shoes. You may be a Muslim.
If you have more wives than teeth. You may be a Muslim.
If you wipe your butt with your bare hand but consider bacon unclean. You may be a Muslim
If you think vests come in two styles: Bullet-proof and Suicide. You may be a Muslim.
If you can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against. You may be a Muslim.
If you consider television dangerous but routinely carry explosives in your clothing. You may be a Muslim
If you were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs. You may be a Muslim
If you have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four. You may be a Muslim
If you find this offensive or racist. You may be a Muslim

Blonde Genies:
A white guy is walking along a beach when he comes across a lamp partially buried in the sand.. He picks up the lamp and gives it a rub. Two blonde genies appear, and they tell him he has been granted three wishes. The guy makes his three wishes and the blonde genies disappear. The next thing the guy knows, he's in a bedroom, in a mansion surrounded by 50 beautiful women. He makes love to them all and begins to explore the house. Suddenly he feels something soft under his feet, he looks down and the floor is covered in $100 bills. Then, there's a knock at the door. He answers it and standing there are two persons dressed in Klu Klux Klan outfits. They drag him outside to the nearest tree, throw a rope over a limb and hang him by the neck until he's dead. As the Klansmen are walking away, they remove their hoods; it's the two blonde genies. One blonde genie says to the other one, 'I can understand the first wish having all these beautiful women in a big mansion to make love to. I can also understand him wanting to be a millionaire… but why he wanted to be hung like a black man is beyond me.'

If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman being cross-examined during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the policeman's credibility.
Q: 'Officer -- did you see my client fleeing the scene?'
A: 'No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the
description of the offender, running several blocks away.'
Q: 'Officer -- who provided this description?'
A: 'The officer who responded to the scene.'
Q: 'A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?'
A: 'Yes, sir. With my life.'
Q: 'With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?'
A: 'Yes sir, we do!'
Q: 'And do you have a locker in the room?'
A: 'Yes sir, I do.'
Q: 'And do you have a lock on your locker?'
A: 'Yes sir.'
Q: 'Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?'
A: 'You see, sir… we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.'

Time Machine:
Guy goes to a science exhibition and sees a time machine which can see 100 years into the future. The man in charge invites him to ask a question he. He asks, "What will Australia be like in 100 years time?" The machine whirrs and beeps into action and gives a printout, which reads, "The country is in good hands under the new Prime Minister, crime is non-existent, the economy is healthy. There are no worries." He has another go, "What will China be like in 100 years time?" Another print out, "The country
will be the world's leading economy and everyone there will enjoy the highest standard of living in the world." The guy says, "I could have guessed that. Now, for a real test what
will New Zealand be like in 100 years time?" The machine whirrs and beeps and goes into action. The man gets a printout, but he's just stares at it. "Come on!" says the guy,
"What does it say?" The man replies, "I don't know...... ! It's all in bloody Maori .... !"

Good Advice:
An older guy working out at the gym spots a sweet young thing. He asks the gym instructor "What machine should I use to impress her?" The trainer looks him over and says, "For you, I recommend the ATM out front."

Winners List:

Wednesday, 22.08.12 B-09 Blue
Wednesday, 29.08.12 C-53 Purple
Wednesday, 05.09.12 D-92 Orange
Wednesday, 12.09.12 F-37 Black
Wednesday, 19.09.12 F-64 Black
Wednesday, 26.09.12 B-31 Red
Wednesday, 03.10.12 A-51 Purple
Wednesday, 10.10.12 B-56 Orange
Wednesday, 17.10.12 B-92 Orange
Wednesday, 24.10.12 B-01 Blue
Wednesday, 31.10.12 A-31 Orange
Wednesday, 07.11.12 A-75 Orange
Wednesday, 14.11.12 B-58 Purple
Wednesday, 24.11.12 A-89 Blue
Wednesday, 28.11.12 A-95 Black
Wednesday, 05.12.12 A-51 Green
Wednesday, 12.12.12 C-23 Purple
Wednesday, 19.12.12 A-60 Black
Wednesday, 26.12.12 C-100 Red
Wednesday, 02.12.12 A-56 Green

See all the winning results at:
http://kingscourt.com.au/win.php
See past emails at:
http://kingscourt.com.au/happy-ending-news

Kings Court: Busty List
These are genuine and real:
Busty and shapely: Lisa, Alicia, Holly, Isabelle, Bonny, Megan, Cindy, Brooke and Nicoletta
Slim and Busty: Melanie, Amy
Slim and shapley: Ingrid, Olivia

The Kings Court Massage
“Whole List” refreshed on Sat 05.01.13

Abigail, Pretty Busty Redhead Blonde Aussie
Alex, Blonde Aussie tall and slim
Alicia, mostly days, busty Aussie, likes to wear sexy themed outfits - Affectionate.!
Amy, Very pretty, Busty, Toned gorgeous Aussie speaking KOREAN just back from over seas
Anna, Pretty slim Eurasian/Aussie very young NEW
April, Slim Blonde German NEW
Bonny, Very Busty Aussie brunette
Bridgette, Slender shapely Canadian – NEW
Brooke, Busty New Zealand brunette – very tender and friendly Holiday until the 11th January
Christine, tall brunette Aussie
Cindy, Busty Brunette friendly Aussie
Cleo, Thai, tall slim pretty
Dana, Pretty Blonde Aussie Holiday until next week
Holly, Very Busty Brunette Aussie
Ingrid, Great personality Perfect T!ts
Isabelle, Busty DD personable brunette Aussie
Katrina, Pretty and friendly Brunette from Czech Republic Restart
Kylie, Slim Austrian very popular back only on Sat
Lisa, Dark busty Indian
Madeline, Slim friendly shy Aussie chick Very nice girl!
Mariko, Japanese sweet and curvy, nice girl away until 15th Dec
Megan, Tall Busty Brunette Canadian NEW
Melanie, Cute shapely busty Asian/Aussie
Monika, Very Slim from Finland NEW holiday until the 15th January
Natalie, tall slim Italian looking very popular brunette Aussie
Nicholetta, Busty Spanish toned and Friendly
Olivia, Pretty Asian cheeky with nice boobs and cute bum Restarted
Samantha, Blonde Aussie tall and shy
Sandy, Japanese sweet and petite, very nice girl
Sylvia, Slightly older European NEW
Taylor, Shapely Blonde Aussie very popular !!
Victoria, Tiny Aussie very pretty and engaging eyes! Holiday until the 17th January

Kings Court:
The place where first time customers meet first time girls. Remember: Everyone knows someone who should know about Kings Court.
Some girl who needs a harmless job or some boy who needs to start out on the right track with respect for girls.

The strange ways of the lord:
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and prayed for him to forgive me.

I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.

Sign in an apartment building:
To POT SMOKERS! Your smoke REEKS in The hallway and I want You to know there ARE Other people here. . . . . that TOTALLY WANNA GET BAKED WITH YOU!!!!!! Call me, Brad… No. 3

A woman sued her local hospital for malpractice... stating that after they treated her husband he had lost all interest in sex. The Judge called upon the hospital spokesman to respond. He said, "The man was admitted in Ophthalmology. All we did was correct his eyesight."

Ray had shingles:
Ray goes to the doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. Ray said: 'Shingles.' So she wrote down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat. Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aide came out and asked Ray what he had... Ray said, 'Shingles.' So she wrote down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told Ray to wait in the examining room. A half hour later a nurse came in and asked Ray what he had. Again, Ray said, 'Shingles...' So the nurse gave Ray a blood test, a blood pressure test, and told Ray to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor. An hour later the doctor came in and found Ray sitting patiently in the nude and asked him what he had. Ray said, 'Shingles.' The doctor asked, 'Where?' Ray said, 'Outside on the truck. Where do you want me to unload 'em??'

Regards
Big John